It's official...I have no life!!!

I now have proof that I have NO LIFE!!!! It's 8:30 on Friday night....I'm on a three way phone call with my mother and grandmother...yes, you read that right...my mother AND grandmother!!! Why you ask am I on a three way?? Well we originally started talking about my sisters latest plight....I love her, but she's....well you know that one girl that we all know,that one your in the middle of a conversation with and say "look dead bird" and she looks and says where???? THAT'S my sister....God love the airhead....haha! Anywho...we are talking, somehow the conversation turns to the fact that I had to bury my grandma's cat today....normally not a funny thing, but somehow when my family is involved....well if I had a normal family it would be different. I'm telling my mother about the mini shovel that I had to use...seriously what little kid did you steal this from grandma???? I would never be a good grave digger, and I could never successfully hide a body....at least not with this mini shovel. Then my sister showes up with a friend that I don't like...ohhhhhh I have a shovel in my hands, one hard WHACK and.....hehe (evil laugh) yeah this mini wouldn't make a bruise and like I said, I'd never be able to dig a hole big enough....so back to digging....yep all three of them now are standing there watching me dig with a shovel my three year old could maneuver. Well I'm done, then the conversation turns to the mound...."should we cover it? with what? I don't know. Grandma-I have a bench we can put over it. Jamie-Oh I like that! Me- The first person to sit on this (also mini) bench will hear a loud crunch! OMG!!!!!!!!!!! The looks that I got!!! Well come on....do you REALLY want to sit on a bench that COULD fall into the soft dirt????And you know what I'm referring to!!! NO! So then we continue...what do we do...I say these large river rocks that grandma had, Jamie wants a grave stone with a kitty on it with 1990-2009 (yes this cat was 19 years old) on it.....we are NOT getting a grave stone! Okay how about a garden rock, we can paint it....you have fun with that Jamie.!!!
Okay so this entire conversation is shared with my mom, who then realizes that her cat Tigger is the last of the California cats.....WHAT????? Wrong question to ask...this simple word sent my mom into what is I know was at least 10 minutes of trying to remember which animals flew and which animals drove across country with them.....was it Annie, Tigger and Blaze that drove with me? No Grandma says you had Henry. Oh yeah! Henry slept on the dashboard all the way...no, no, it was Henry and Tigger and Beethoven...the dog that drove. No I had two cats with me, this is grandma pipin in...I'm listening to this go on, all the while looking for a sharp object to put me out of this misery!!! I told my mom that her animals were like Jamie's boyfriends...too many to keep up with....OH WAIT!! It was Hersey that was with us!! Hersey????? The rat. HOW?!?! How can you confuse a RAT with a CAT??? I do understand that they both have the AT in them...but come one! It's at this moment that I realize I have NO LIFE!!!!!
So, with out solving the great mystery of which animal flew and which drove (get the mental picture you have of flying cats and driving dogs you KNOW you have in your head right now....)Jamie calls mom on her cell phone....ah the drama that is my sister...well grandma and I at first are being quiet...not to be nice, but so we can here what they are talking about....well then, ever so rudely mom leaves the room...or at least goes far away enough from the phone that we can't here anymore....rude I'm telling you!!!
This leaves Grandma and I to chat.....update time...yes I found out what that smell was....it wasn't something dead under my house....it wasn't me....It was a cup of milk that Mikayla had dropped behind the couch....next to the vent, but in a place where you couldn't see it when looking under the couch....EWWWWWWWWWWW YUCK! That was NOT fun cleaning up....but thank goodness for Febreez!!! Also after a long week of dissecting my daughters poo...The penny came out!! YIPPIE!!!!! This wasn't after attempts on Mikayla's part to get it out....she was upside down on the couch the other day trying to "shake" it out...don't ask.
Well then I tell her about Thursday morning.....we had over slept, and as I was trying to get Mikayla ready for preschool (or two hours of heaven as I call it) Patrick comes in to her room...I'm getting Mikayla dressed and he is waiting for his goodbye kiss. Nothing too out of the normal your thinking...just wait it gets better.....so as I'm getting Mikayla ready, not noticing Patrick standing there yet, I turn and see him...the look on his face was of complete rejection.....you know that kid, the one who is always jumping up and down waving his arms..."look at me, look at me, LOOOOOOOOOOOOK AAAATTTTTT MMMMEEEEEEEE!!!" You know him we all do...well that was the mental picture I had of my husband at that moment based off the look on his face....you know how you have reality, then the brain kicks in and the comedy starts...yeah that was it. Grandma is cracking up at this time, cause you have to know my husband to understand how that would so not be something he would do....then I made the mistake of telling her what Tina had said when I continued with this story. Patrick's look of rejection is because of this......for the last 4 years each and every morning, I get up, I fix coffee, Patrick eats breakfast, I pour his cup of coffee, get the paper and walk him to the door....goodbye kiss and all.....Ozzie and Harriet is what Tina called it...yes I confess for 5 minutes every morning, I revert to the 1957 house wife and walk my husband to the door, hand him his coffee and paper, and Mikayla and I kiss him goodbye for the day.....for those of you that don't know me...I'm SO NOT a 1957 house wife....and NO I don't greet him when he gets home with a Martini and slippers....Grandma wanted to know if she came over in the morning if we'd be in black and white....bite me Grandma!!!! So for me to not walk him to the door, was just a blow to him....he'll live.....I know Tina WILL make fun of me for this, this dirty little confession of mine will come back to bite me in the butt someday!!! haha...
So now in the excitement that is my Friday night... I sit here on my couch, relfecting over the nights events...or lack there of...and realize I HAVE NO LIFE!!!!!!
Have a great weekend!!!!