Today I am in a cleaning mood....shocking I know! Mikayla always being underfoot, is "helping" me. However, after this latest adventure with her, I'm likely to be found hiding in a corner somewhere!
We start with her room. She, being the bossy little munchkin she is, is once again telling me I need to do this, and do that. I learned my lesson the last time, I didn't avoid her room and let it grow monsters. That's not to say that we didn't have a monster issue this time!
I move into my room, which has over the last few days (weeks and months) turned into her play room (this also explains why her room was so tolerable). Pick up your blocks Mikayla. I can't. Pick up your letters Mikayla. I can't. Well then how are you going to help me if you don't pick stuff up. I will help you mommy. I tell you what to do. Your Mikayla and I'll be the mommy. (oh boy this aught to be interesting!) You pick up the toys and I will watch you. WHAT???? Is this what she thinks when I tell her to pick up her toys, that I'm not doing anything??? No sweetie, I don't think so, we will pick them up together. No mommy, you will pick them up and I will watch you. Mikayla. Yeah mommy. Go watch TV!!! Okay mommy.
I continue to pick up and organize toys, with her coming to "check on me" every now and then.
Two rooms down, four to go.
I take a little break, chat with a friend, then go to clean the bathrooms. The kids bathroom, the one we like to refer to as the "Turkish Dungeon" is first. Mikayla comes to the door. Mommy what are you doing in my bathroom? I'm cleaning it. Is it dirty. Yes, it's dirty. Okay mommy, you make it clean. Goes back to play. THAT was too easy!
Move on to my bathroom. This is when it gets interesting!
I have the TV on in my bedroom, I was listening to the news. Gotta have something to entertain me right? Mikayla comes in there. Can I watch TV in here mommy. Yes, but I'm not changing the channel. But I don't want to watch the news mommy. Then go watch cartoons on the big TV for a little bit longer, then we can play. I don't want to mommy, I want to watch you. (Ugh, again?) Okay, but you gotta stay back. Okay mommy.
I start with the toilet (and only 10 seconds of silence) Mommy? What Mikayla. Why is the toilet dirty? (EWWW!!! I really don't want to think about that, I just want to clean it and move on!) It's dirty cause we use it. Does it have Icky on it? Yes, it has icky on it. (I'm thinking now, so therefore I'm also gaging now) She starts laughing, and says, it's got yucky butt on it! Mikayla! That's not nice (gag) you don't need to talk like that. But but Mommy. No buts Mikayla. We can't put butts on the potty anymore? (oh Lord, why? Why did this get started!) Mikayla stop talking about butts! Okay Mommy.
Get the Clorox wipes out. She sits there and tells me all the things that they will clean (she's looking at the pictures on the container) Now she wants me to go clean the toaster!!! Gotta wait to do that later sweetie! BUT MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!! What Mikayla? You need to wipe everything. I will Mikayla, but I gotta clean the tub first.
Daytime TV has LOTS of cleaning product commercials on it. Some are basic and to the point. Some have animation and can be entertaining. My daughter likes commercials. Specially the ones where she sees something we have. However, I don't think she will ever like the Scrubbing Bubbles commercial ever again!!!
She comes into the bathroom as I'm spraying the tub with the Scrubbing Bubbles product. I get it wiped out, look over and Mikayla is at the door of the bathroom watching a scrubbing bubbles commercial and sees the giant talking bubble on the TV. I have the shower hose in my hand at this time, when I hear a blood curling scream! She comes running towards me and knocks the can off the tub, grabs the hose and SPRAYS WATER EVERYWHERE IN MY BATHROOM!!!!!!!!!!!! Yelling all the time about monster bubbles in the bathroom! WHAT??? Oh my gosh this kid has lost it!!
Everything seemed to be in slow motion at that point! I have water everywhere in my bathroom, a kid who is hysterical about a monster bubble in the tub, and me at a loss of what to do! I get the water turned off and drop a towel on the floor (yeah, like one towel is going to clean this mess up!) Take her into the bedroom and find out what's going on.
Mikayla, what is wrong? I scaed of the monster bubbles. There aren't any monster bubbles. Uh huh they are see! She points to the can on the floor. The monster bubble is in the tub. (she is shaking right now) Oh honey, that was just something on TV, they don't have monster bubbles come out of the can, you don't have to be scared. Mommy cleans the tub with that. I don't want them to get me in the tub. (She is looking over my shoulder into the bathroom, waiting I'm sure for a big bubble with a scrub brush on it's butt to come out of the tub.) Mommy rinsed them all out, come see. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! She wont even step foot into the bathroom! I'm trying to reason with her, that nothing is in there, when I remember my own bathroom fear from many, many (two or three) years ago!
I was terrified of the Tidy Bowl Man. There I said it!!! I was petrified with fear over him.
I remember the commercial like it was yesterday. There was, in the commercial a man in a row boat floating around in the toilet. I was so sure he was going to get me, reach up and grab my butt when I was on the potty! I remember making my dad flush the toilet before I would even go near it (Dad, do you remember that?) My parents tried to reason with me (I was like three or four at the time) that nothing was going to get me, but I was still petrified with fear of him! Nothing will instill fear in a child like the thought of some creepy man in a row boat in your toilet watching you go!
So now, with my daughter, she has her own Tidy Bowl man fear to last her a life time. I'm sure from this point on, I'm going to have to rinse the tub out before she gets in. Reassuring her that the Scrubbing Bubble Monster wont get her in the tub!!
In the mean time though, I will be writing the company and complaining. Not about the fact that my daughter is terrified of their product, but because of false advertisement! In all the years I've been using Scrubbing Bubbles, I have NEVER seen a giant bubble with a scrub brush on it's butt come clean my tub!
Now I have to go finish what I started, clean up the swimming pool that is my bathroom (well at least pick up the sopping wet towels that are in there) Oh and check my toilet for the Tidy Bowl man!!!! Some fears never leave! :)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
The Handy Manny Envy syndrome
My husband (who will hate me for this post..haha) has Handy Manny Envy syndrome. He's outside right now building a play set and patiently waiting for Manny and his tools to show up....I think he's going to be waiting a while!
Now for those of you who are fortunate enough to have not seen this show, let me tell you a little about it. Handy Manny has tools that not only talk to him, but THEY DO ALL THE WORK TOO!!!! How amazing is that? This show was definitely made by a guy. Only a guy could come up with the concept of this show. Only Disney would put it on their network too...again, a guy thing. (no offense guys!!!)
Don't get me wrong. I can imagine a world where things did their the work on their own, however, I'm not envious. (okay well maybe a little, but we'll get to that later)
Here is my husbands dream. Tools that talk to him, and do all the work. Specially the flat head screw driver, which he is sure was designed by Satan himself. He HATES flat head screwdrivers. If I want to guarantee the silent treatment, I bring home flat head screws!! His next part of his dream, after the tools working is Kelley. Kelley owns the hardware store that has everything imaginable in it...even things that you wouldn't normally see in a hardware store!
So lets sum this up. My hubby's dream is to be a lazy bum, who's tools talk to him and do all the work, with a hot blond owning a store down the street, catering to his every need and want. Yep, sounds like a dream alright!!! haha!
Did I mention that the tools sing too??? Oh and we never see Manny paying either!!! Yeah, I think he's crazy too!!! haha! ( I love you sweetie!! :)
In his defense, Handy Manny is a good guy. He watches his tools closely and teaches them lessons when needed. And they all get along nicely...now if my kids would just pick up on that!!!
But still I wonder, how would it be if this really could happen............
Let's imagine if you will a life of talking household items and they do all the work themselves. (this is were my envy comes in) First, laundry would dance it's way into the washer and dryer. My dryer would then reassure me that he wont loose any of the socks. The basket would then mosey on up (and for some reason I can see my basket as a cowboy with spurs and a hat) and claim the UNWRINKLED clean laundry. The hangers would salsa dance their way to the basket and put their happy little selves into the clothes then salsa dance their way back to the closet. All of this while having a lovely conversation with me!(or singing a catchy little tune)
In the mean time, the dishwasher and sink are having a friendly argument over who can clean the dishes better....I will of course have to come out and reassure them that they both are equally important, and each has a "special" talent. (it wouldn't be real without a lesson!!!) My dishes in the mean time will thank the sink for holding them safe till they can go into the dishwasher and then when they are dry and sparkly, they will march back into the cabinets.
Meanwhile, the laundry basket is making sure the boy clothes and the girl clothes don't do naughty things (which is how laundry multiplies) and he is keeping the socks from running away. The vacuum (we will call him Kirby) wants to know if there is anything he can do for me today. Then without me saying a word, Kirby will spot a bit of dust and get it sucked up before I even know it. Kirby is so nice! He then will go into the kitchen and tell Mr. Coffee to start a pot, we will then all go outside and have a lovely visit till Kevin (guys have Kelley, we have Kevin ladies) shows up with all the groceries I didn't even knew I needed, and that's cause my fridge has a direct line to the grocery store.(and my scissors will have cut the coupons out without my help!)They will put themselves up, all nice and organized. Afterwards, my stove will let out it's retractable arms (we gotta be conservative with space) and start fixing dinner. My husband's singing and dancing tools will show up later to help the sink clean up the mess. This all will happen while my couch sings me a lullaby and gives me a back rub!
See I told you I didn't have Handy Manny Envy syndrome!
Okay I gotta go, Manny didn't show up, so now I have to go help my hubby with the play set...some assembly required my butt....where ARE those singing tools!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now for those of you who are fortunate enough to have not seen this show, let me tell you a little about it. Handy Manny has tools that not only talk to him, but THEY DO ALL THE WORK TOO!!!! How amazing is that? This show was definitely made by a guy. Only a guy could come up with the concept of this show. Only Disney would put it on their network too...again, a guy thing. (no offense guys!!!)
Don't get me wrong. I can imagine a world where things did their the work on their own, however, I'm not envious. (okay well maybe a little, but we'll get to that later)
Here is my husbands dream. Tools that talk to him, and do all the work. Specially the flat head screw driver, which he is sure was designed by Satan himself. He HATES flat head screwdrivers. If I want to guarantee the silent treatment, I bring home flat head screws!! His next part of his dream, after the tools working is Kelley. Kelley owns the hardware store that has everything imaginable in it...even things that you wouldn't normally see in a hardware store!
So lets sum this up. My hubby's dream is to be a lazy bum, who's tools talk to him and do all the work, with a hot blond owning a store down the street, catering to his every need and want. Yep, sounds like a dream alright!!! haha!
Did I mention that the tools sing too??? Oh and we never see Manny paying either!!! Yeah, I think he's crazy too!!! haha! ( I love you sweetie!! :)
In his defense, Handy Manny is a good guy. He watches his tools closely and teaches them lessons when needed. And they all get along nicely...now if my kids would just pick up on that!!!
But still I wonder, how would it be if this really could happen............
Let's imagine if you will a life of talking household items and they do all the work themselves. (this is were my envy comes in) First, laundry would dance it's way into the washer and dryer. My dryer would then reassure me that he wont loose any of the socks. The basket would then mosey on up (and for some reason I can see my basket as a cowboy with spurs and a hat) and claim the UNWRINKLED clean laundry. The hangers would salsa dance their way to the basket and put their happy little selves into the clothes then salsa dance their way back to the closet. All of this while having a lovely conversation with me!(or singing a catchy little tune)
In the mean time, the dishwasher and sink are having a friendly argument over who can clean the dishes better....I will of course have to come out and reassure them that they both are equally important, and each has a "special" talent. (it wouldn't be real without a lesson!!!) My dishes in the mean time will thank the sink for holding them safe till they can go into the dishwasher and then when they are dry and sparkly, they will march back into the cabinets.
Meanwhile, the laundry basket is making sure the boy clothes and the girl clothes don't do naughty things (which is how laundry multiplies) and he is keeping the socks from running away. The vacuum (we will call him Kirby) wants to know if there is anything he can do for me today. Then without me saying a word, Kirby will spot a bit of dust and get it sucked up before I even know it. Kirby is so nice! He then will go into the kitchen and tell Mr. Coffee to start a pot, we will then all go outside and have a lovely visit till Kevin (guys have Kelley, we have Kevin ladies) shows up with all the groceries I didn't even knew I needed, and that's cause my fridge has a direct line to the grocery store.(and my scissors will have cut the coupons out without my help!)They will put themselves up, all nice and organized. Afterwards, my stove will let out it's retractable arms (we gotta be conservative with space) and start fixing dinner. My husband's singing and dancing tools will show up later to help the sink clean up the mess. This all will happen while my couch sings me a lullaby and gives me a back rub!
See I told you I didn't have Handy Manny Envy syndrome!
Okay I gotta go, Manny didn't show up, so now I have to go help my hubby with the play set...some assembly required my butt....where ARE those singing tools!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Does anyone hear her?
http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=5a2e075a1a4a6e1b9770
This is a song about a girl who is searching. A girl, who like so many of us, searching for hope.
I know this girl.
She was lost and searching. She had lived a life of abuse and neglect. While she wasn't promiscuous, she was looking for love in all the wrong places. Looking for love and acceptance from people, places and things.
Life was not always bad. She had two sets of grandparents that loved her unconditionally, but because Satan had such a strong hold on her, she felt that she couldn't live up to their love. She was from a divorced family. Her mother had married a man who was an alcoholic when she was 8. This man would never miss an opportunity to physically abuse her. Those wounds healed, but the emotional and verbal abuse, well they are still there. Her mother wasn't much of one. She was too self involved to see the hell her daughter was living in. She wasn't able to protect her from the physical abuse, but she did contribute to the verbal and emotional. She wasn't much of a mother, but she was better than nothing at all.
The only time there was any reprieve to the hell that she was living in, was to go visit family out of state. But the dread of coming back consumed her so much, she couldn't fully enjoy her visits.
It was always worse coming back than if she had just stayed there. Then one day, she wasn't allowed to go visit anymore. She would go four long years before she could escape to the loving arms of her family so far away. Those four years took it's toll. Not just on her, but on her relationship with her family. This is the first stage of the searching, but she wouldn't recognize it till she was much older.
Living a double life in her teenage years was hard. She wanted to fit in with her friends. School was the only escape at this time. She could never have friends over, she never knew what waited at home. She never knew if she went out if the locks would be changed again. There were several times she would come home from having a few hours of freedom, to find herself locked out. Her mother there but unable to do anything. Only two close friend truly knew the hell she was living in. She would never let anyone know.
Then one day the physical abuse stopped. She had learned how to fight back, but the damage had still been done.
Thinking she was not worthy of love, believing the lies that Satan was whispering and the words that she had been called, the words that she had heard said about her, she started down a slippery slope that would become her life for the next ten years.
Yearning for love and affection, she jumped from the pot into the fire. Entering a relationship that was full of the same abuse as before. This time it was different, this time, it was she who had a daughter to protect. She would not let this man hurt her daughter, she would not let him do the things that had been done to her by another man. While he never layed a hand on their daughter, history was still repeating itself. This time is was her, this time she was the abuser.
This is a song about a girl who is searching. A girl, who like so many of us, searching for hope.
I know this girl.
She was lost and searching. She had lived a life of abuse and neglect. While she wasn't promiscuous, she was looking for love in all the wrong places. Looking for love and acceptance from people, places and things.
Life was not always bad. She had two sets of grandparents that loved her unconditionally, but because Satan had such a strong hold on her, she felt that she couldn't live up to their love. She was from a divorced family. Her mother had married a man who was an alcoholic when she was 8. This man would never miss an opportunity to physically abuse her. Those wounds healed, but the emotional and verbal abuse, well they are still there. Her mother wasn't much of one. She was too self involved to see the hell her daughter was living in. She wasn't able to protect her from the physical abuse, but she did contribute to the verbal and emotional. She wasn't much of a mother, but she was better than nothing at all.
The only time there was any reprieve to the hell that she was living in, was to go visit family out of state. But the dread of coming back consumed her so much, she couldn't fully enjoy her visits.
It was always worse coming back than if she had just stayed there. Then one day, she wasn't allowed to go visit anymore. She would go four long years before she could escape to the loving arms of her family so far away. Those four years took it's toll. Not just on her, but on her relationship with her family. This is the first stage of the searching, but she wouldn't recognize it till she was much older.
Living a double life in her teenage years was hard. She wanted to fit in with her friends. School was the only escape at this time. She could never have friends over, she never knew what waited at home. She never knew if she went out if the locks would be changed again. There were several times she would come home from having a few hours of freedom, to find herself locked out. Her mother there but unable to do anything. Only two close friend truly knew the hell she was living in. She would never let anyone know.
Then one day the physical abuse stopped. She had learned how to fight back, but the damage had still been done.
Thinking she was not worthy of love, believing the lies that Satan was whispering and the words that she had been called, the words that she had heard said about her, she started down a slippery slope that would become her life for the next ten years.
Yearning for love and affection, she jumped from the pot into the fire. Entering a relationship that was full of the same abuse as before. This time it was different, this time, it was she who had a daughter to protect. She would not let this man hurt her daughter, she would not let him do the things that had been done to her by another man. While he never layed a hand on their daughter, history was still repeating itself. This time is was her, this time she was the abuser.
Unable to recognise it for what it was, sever post partum depression, she lived another secret life again. Behind closed doors she raised her young daughter in the same hell she had lived. During the day, she was one way, but at night the demons came out. The little girl who had grown up in a life of abuse, was laying the same hell at her daughters feet. This hell continued on till the daughter was three years old. Then one day, she woke up to realize what she was doing. To this day, she doesn't know how it stopped, she didn't have anyone to talk to about it, she didn't pray about it as she didn't know to then, but all that she knew is it stopped. She never spoke about what she had done, what she had said, how she had treated her little girl until many years later. That was her punishment to herself, keeping it in, letting the guilt of what she had done eat at her. This new guilt was added to the long list that was in her heart....unworthy of love, broken, scared, lost and an abuser. This would add it's self to the next level of searching, but she was still unable to recognize it.
Durning the next four years, while the abuse that she had turned onto her daughter had stopped, the abuse from her husband had not stopped. But again, she learned to fight back. He hit her, she hit him. Thankfully her daughter never saw anything, what she did hear, she doesn't know, but to this day, her daughter doesn't remember the hell that was the first four years of her life. She hopes she never will.
Then one day it ended. The marriage, the living hell, she was free! Or so she thought. Satan wasn't letting her go that easy. The things he whispered in her ear, the things he reminded her of, reminding her that no one loves her, no one ever would, her family didn't love her, if they did, they would of taken her away along time ago. That she was never going to be free from the guilt, from the shame that had been her life.
She moved on, all the while hearing those words in the back of her heart. Knowing and thinking they were true. She sabotaged all relationships that came her way. She knew she was unworthy of love, unworthy of acceptance, unworthy of happiness. So, she kept it in her terms, she kept it at an arms length, she kept her personal hell close to her heart.
Then one day, someone came into her life. Was this her prince charming? Was he going to stick around? Was he going to love her unconditionally? Was he going to? To this day, she still doesn't know why? Why did he stay, Why does he love her so much?
She did everything she could to sabotage the relationship, but he wouldn't let her leave. He wouldn't let her give up on them. He was the first person to ever fight for her heart, he was the first person to ever chip away and not give up breaking down the wall that was around her heart. He was the only person to get her out of her cave. He was, at the time, the only person to never let her down, the only person who gave her the love she so craved. He was the only person she ever felt safe with. He was, at the time, her only hero.
However, still having that stronghold on her, this was still not enough. She was still searching, still empty. Still broken, still guilty. She had this one man who loved her, but she was still empty inside. She tried to overcome her past, her dark thoughts on her own. She succeeded, but only got so far. Still for the time, it was better than nothing, it was so much better than what she had before.
Then one day, she had another little girl. She made a strong resolution to never let history repeat it's self. She one more time, fought the demons that were in her. She one more time slipped deep into post partum depression. This time though, the abuse was turned to herself. This time, after being in the tub and wondering how long it would take her to drown, she knew she needed help. She went the way of medication, still thinking she wasn't going to go the other way, the way of her personal hell, she over came the depression, but she was still fighting a battle within.
She had perfected the "mask". The life is good, I am good, I am happy, I am stronger than my demons mask. She actually was believing she had it right this time. She thought she could still do it on her own. She had a wonderful husband who loved her unconditionally, she had two beautiful daughters and a step son. She had the family that she had always wanted. She had so many holes in her heart that they could never fill.
One day, against what she thought at the time was her better judgement, but it was not her whispering these words, she discovered a Mom's group at her in laws Church. It took her five tries to walk in, she was on the fence, her heart screaming for something, Satan reminding her that she wasn't worthy. These women are Christians, these women would never do the things you have done, you will never fit in, you will never belong. Thankfully she listened to her heart. She took a deep breath, and dived into the unknown, finding the first chair she could. She sat there for about 5 minutes alone, fighting her demons, fighting this battle. When no one came up to her, when no one had acknowledged her, she was getting ready to leave, she was weakening against the lies that were being told to her again. Someone sat down at the table she was at. She was still looking around, still scared, still alone. Believing what she was being told. Look at them, they all know each other, they will never accept you if they ever find out what you have done, where you came from. She was just getting ready to get up, when everyone sat down, it was time to begin. She was trapped. She still doesn't remember much of that first day. All she knew is she wasn't coming back. The lies had become her truth. She was in a room full of women, yet had never felt so alone. She left that day, with her heart aching, knowing she would never have what they had....what was it that they had? She didn't know, but she knew what ever it was, it wasn't available to her.
Then one morning, a few days later, she got a call. It was from one of the girls that had sat at her table, A table leader is what she called herself. At first, she gave the answers that she thought the other woman would want to here. But before she knew it, three hours had passed, she doesn't know what she said, she doesn't remember what the other woman told her, but something changed. She had a small glimmer of hope. She had decided that she wasn't going back. One phone call changed that. She did go back the next week, and the next. Then it got too close. She felt something going on in her heart, she felt a change coming, but the words that had at one time been just whispers were now loud and controlling of her thougths. She was in the middle of a battle, not her battle, but a battle that she would be forever thankful for. That first year was a roller coaster. She never was constant with going, but when she did, she was leaving in tears, not the bad kind of tears, but the healing type of tears.
Then one night, after what they called "Mom's night out" she let the dam go, the same woman who had spent three hours on the phone, found the right spot in her wall to chip and down came years of doubt, years of fear, years of guilt, years of emptiness. After that night, she had such a feeling of freedom, such a lightness, the words were still there, but they were back to being a whisper. She started going to that church with her in laws, she was falling in love. She was going through a transformation so powerful, yet so scary. She was also hiding it from her husband. She didn't want him to think she was abandoning him, they had at one time shared the same belief about faith. They both believed in God, but didn't think he had time for them. Her friend told her not to hide it. But she still didn't know what it was.
When she was younger, she had thought she had given her life to Jesus, she didn't understand what that was. One day at this new church, there was a message so powerful, so close to home, so close to her heart, that she crumbled. The next week she showed up at the mom's group, this week was a bible study that they were doing, this week, what was left around her heart that hadn't been crumbled by the sermon on Sunday, was broken down. She discovered what theses women had. Not just hope, not just acceptance, but love from Someone who will never leave nor forsake you.
She had discovered....Somebody DOES hear her, Somebody DOES see her.
She had discovered her ultimate Prince Charming, Her Hero. She now had two men in her life that would love her no matter what she did. She knew the physical man, the love of her life, was a gift from the Heavenly love of her life. She went from alone and searching, to having more love than she ever knew what to do with.
That one fateful day, that one fateful phone call, that one fateful sermon and bible study....That one special group of women known as Mom2Mom, they all saved my life.
*This is dedicated to the Mom2Mom ministry, and those special women that were there for me, you know you are, I love you and am for ever thankful for you. This is also for all the women, who are lost and searching, Someone does hear you, someone does see you.....
Monday, April 13, 2009
Quotes of the week
Comments are many here in my house. Someone is always speaking before thinking (usually me) Someone is always making fun of somebody in this house (usually Patrick to me) and someone is usually driving me nuts (usually Mikayla!)
Here are a few quotes for the week....
"But, but I need to change my clothes mommy...I got milk on my shirt." "How did you get milk on your shirt?" (takes a big drink....and makes a milky raspberry) "That's how I got milk on my shirt mommy"
Honestly I didn't want to be shown how it got on there...just wanted a general answer...but I am dealing with a three year old.
As my husband is being so sweet and cooking breakfast on Saturday (and I'm so trying not to hover cause I don't like anyone working in my kitchen) I get asked this....
"What part of the cow does bacon come from?" "Uh that would be the pig part my dear" (sorry sweetie...I told you it was going in this!!!lol)
I'll give him one now. :) One of Patrick's favorite things to say to me is this..
Me- Ouch! My head hurts!
Patrick- What's the matter, the hamster fall off it's wheel again???
(so mean!!!)
There now we are even!!! haha!
Mikayla being the little brat that she can be...
" I'm not talking you mommy...I was talking to daddy! (what a little stinker!)
Okay, so maybe there wasn't as much going on this week as I thought, or maybe my brain is just fried from some of the stuff my family has done this week..either way, just a little short but sweet post for ya!! haha!
So until next time when I'm successfully cracked out from coffee...or maybe after I stole one of Patrick's Red Bulls (let's see if does give me wings) and have something more to say...
Have a good day!!! :)
Here are a few quotes for the week....
"But, but I need to change my clothes mommy...I got milk on my shirt." "How did you get milk on your shirt?" (takes a big drink....and makes a milky raspberry) "That's how I got milk on my shirt mommy"
Honestly I didn't want to be shown how it got on there...just wanted a general answer...but I am dealing with a three year old.
As my husband is being so sweet and cooking breakfast on Saturday (and I'm so trying not to hover cause I don't like anyone working in my kitchen) I get asked this....
"What part of the cow does bacon come from?" "Uh that would be the pig part my dear" (sorry sweetie...I told you it was going in this!!!lol)
I'll give him one now. :) One of Patrick's favorite things to say to me is this..
Me- Ouch! My head hurts!
Patrick- What's the matter, the hamster fall off it's wheel again???
(so mean!!!)
There now we are even!!! haha!
Mikayla being the little brat that she can be...
" I'm not talking you mommy...I was talking to daddy! (what a little stinker!)
Okay, so maybe there wasn't as much going on this week as I thought, or maybe my brain is just fried from some of the stuff my family has done this week..either way, just a little short but sweet post for ya!! haha!
So until next time when I'm successfully cracked out from coffee...or maybe after I stole one of Patrick's Red Bulls (let's see if does give me wings) and have something more to say...
Have a good day!!! :)
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
What is your occupation???
What is my occupation is something I get asked alot. Whether it's a Dr.'s form I'm filling out, a fun survey that I got emailed, or just someone random.
What do I do for a living?
Me being the smarty pants that I can be (gasp!) will sometimes answer "I'm the COO of a company that is in the developmental stages" (I read this in an email once that some lady at the DMV actually did this and I've loved it ever since) or I can say "I am the Vice President of a marketing firm that's looking to develop ideal principals in the general public" You get were I'm going...I'm not avoiding the truth, I'm avoiding the "ah I see, your just a mom" look we get.
JUST A MOM????????????????? Seriously, I'd love to throw something at these knuckleheads! Hello!!! Who do you think took care of you? Who do you think kept you alive to be able to look at me and say I'm "just a mom".
But yes, I'm just a mom. A mom who has been blessed by God to be given three children...two girls of my own flesh and one sweet little boy who, while he belongs to another woman, I love as my own. But JUST a mom???? I don't think so!!!
We, as a society, don't realize the importance of being a mom. We don't realize as women, we are the most blessed of creatures. We often don't realize the importance of the little beings that we are molding. We see ourselves in a "season" of time. A season that moves way too fast some day's, and seems never ending in others. It's a season of joy, hardship, laughter and tears. It's a season that will last the rest of our lives, as we watch our hearts leave our body's and become young women and men who will have their hearts leave their body's too one day. It's the greatest blessing there can ever be!
But don't EVER tell me I'm just a mom!!! I'm a mentor, a best friend, a disciplinarian, a cook, a nurse, a comforter, a jungle gym (till daddy gets home anyways) a story teller, a teacher, a playmate, a source of undeniable love. I'm so much more than just a mom. I'm a life source to these kids, I'm a companion to these kids, I am LOVE to these kids.
Now, do I always LIKE being a mom? Heck no! Some day's I just want to pack up, say I'm done, and leave. There are day's that I just want to be left alone, day's I don't want to play with dolls, day's that if I read one more story, have one more pretend lunch, one more argument, one more time of repeating myself and having to be a mom, I will loose it. These are dark day's. They are the day's that I'm thankful that I don't have to it alone. No, I'm not talking about the dad's, although I'd be lying if I didn't say I watched the clock some day's and think "he'll be home any time and I can have a break". No, I'm talking about the fact that I'm not in this Mom business alone, I have a Great Source that I can turn to. I have my Heavenly Parent. The One that likes to use my children as a lesson for me. My Lord and Savior, MY source of comfort! The One I can turn to when I'm done. Thank you God!!!
He's the one, who when I'm done, when I'm ready to turn my back and leave, reminds me of what an important job He's given me. He's the one who entrusted me with these lives. He's the one who when I cry out and don't know what to do, will come running every time I cry, just like I do when one of my kids cry....I run to them.
He's the one who tells me, "what would you do, where would you be if I quit on you?" Up a creek with out a paddle and screwed beyond belief is where I would be!!!!
Where would I be with out God? I know where I was a few years ago, and I never, EVER want to go back there again!
Where would my kids be without me? This is the answer to my question....I'm not just a mom am I? I AM the hands and feet of Jesus with these kids. I AM the lesson that God is using to teach them how to be strong, faithful women and men. I AM being molded and formed into God's image through these kids. I AM their Shepperd, they know MY voice. I AM teaching them to know our Lord and Savior through my actions, through my thoughts, through my life. I AM being used in a way that is the greatest blessing to ever think of...raising God's most precious gift...my children.
I AM so much more than just a mom.
What do I do for a living?
Me being the smarty pants that I can be (gasp!) will sometimes answer "I'm the COO of a company that is in the developmental stages" (I read this in an email once that some lady at the DMV actually did this and I've loved it ever since) or I can say "I am the Vice President of a marketing firm that's looking to develop ideal principals in the general public" You get were I'm going...I'm not avoiding the truth, I'm avoiding the "ah I see, your just a mom" look we get.
JUST A MOM????????????????? Seriously, I'd love to throw something at these knuckleheads! Hello!!! Who do you think took care of you? Who do you think kept you alive to be able to look at me and say I'm "just a mom".
But yes, I'm just a mom. A mom who has been blessed by God to be given three children...two girls of my own flesh and one sweet little boy who, while he belongs to another woman, I love as my own. But JUST a mom???? I don't think so!!!
We, as a society, don't realize the importance of being a mom. We don't realize as women, we are the most blessed of creatures. We often don't realize the importance of the little beings that we are molding. We see ourselves in a "season" of time. A season that moves way too fast some day's, and seems never ending in others. It's a season of joy, hardship, laughter and tears. It's a season that will last the rest of our lives, as we watch our hearts leave our body's and become young women and men who will have their hearts leave their body's too one day. It's the greatest blessing there can ever be!
But don't EVER tell me I'm just a mom!!! I'm a mentor, a best friend, a disciplinarian, a cook, a nurse, a comforter, a jungle gym (till daddy gets home anyways) a story teller, a teacher, a playmate, a source of undeniable love. I'm so much more than just a mom. I'm a life source to these kids, I'm a companion to these kids, I am LOVE to these kids.
Now, do I always LIKE being a mom? Heck no! Some day's I just want to pack up, say I'm done, and leave. There are day's that I just want to be left alone, day's I don't want to play with dolls, day's that if I read one more story, have one more pretend lunch, one more argument, one more time of repeating myself and having to be a mom, I will loose it. These are dark day's. They are the day's that I'm thankful that I don't have to it alone. No, I'm not talking about the dad's, although I'd be lying if I didn't say I watched the clock some day's and think "he'll be home any time and I can have a break". No, I'm talking about the fact that I'm not in this Mom business alone, I have a Great Source that I can turn to. I have my Heavenly Parent. The One that likes to use my children as a lesson for me. My Lord and Savior, MY source of comfort! The One I can turn to when I'm done. Thank you God!!!
He's the one, who when I'm done, when I'm ready to turn my back and leave, reminds me of what an important job He's given me. He's the one who entrusted me with these lives. He's the one who when I cry out and don't know what to do, will come running every time I cry, just like I do when one of my kids cry....I run to them.
He's the one who tells me, "what would you do, where would you be if I quit on you?" Up a creek with out a paddle and screwed beyond belief is where I would be!!!!
Where would I be with out God? I know where I was a few years ago, and I never, EVER want to go back there again!
Where would my kids be without me? This is the answer to my question....I'm not just a mom am I? I AM the hands and feet of Jesus with these kids. I AM the lesson that God is using to teach them how to be strong, faithful women and men. I AM being molded and formed into God's image through these kids. I AM their Shepperd, they know MY voice. I AM teaching them to know our Lord and Savior through my actions, through my thoughts, through my life. I AM being used in a way that is the greatest blessing to ever think of...raising God's most precious gift...my children.
I AM so much more than just a mom.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Even Jesus felt abandoned.....
Today is Palm Sunday...April 5, 2009.
Today is the marking of Jesus going into Jerusalem, celebrated.
Today marks the ending of His life, the beginning of MY eternal life!
How quickly one week can make a difference. One day He is being celebrated, and four short days He is being crucified.
I know in my life, one week can make a difference too. A week can sometimes be a lifetime, a week sometimes can be over in a blink of an eye. I find myself wondering what kind of week this was for Jesus.
We know that it is said in the bible that Jesus began to be distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" Mark 14:34
How often do we feel overwhelmed with sorrow, how quickly we can go in one week from sorrow, to feeling refreshed. Thank you God for your love. It's as simple as that, God's love, sharing his yoke and not our own, it's such a feeling of refreshment.
Today at Church we heard about the human part of Jesus. In Mark 15:34 "And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice 'Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?'-which means 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' " it furthers goes on to say in Mark 15:37 'With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last breath.'
He CRIED OUT! He felt FORSAKEN by God, even Jesus felt abandoned! You have no idea how much closer I felt to the Lord today, knowing this. I've read that passage before, but never put into personal context.
Why does Jesus feeling abandoned at one point have such an impact on me? Well because I now know that He knows what is hidden deep in my heart personally. I know that He has experienced it as well, and with that simple sentence years of doubt, years of questions have melted away.
One of the questions, or not so much a question, but a block if you will, is deep in my heart, I've had the thought of "it's only a matter of time before I screw up so bad, that You'll leave me too"
I have a deep battle of abandonment. No I wasn't left on the streets, no I wasn't what most of us think in a traditional sense of abandonment left at the alter type of thing. My abandonment issue was "if my family can forget about me so easily, if they can turn away from me and only remember me from time to time, what makes me think YOU will stick around?"
Now before I go any further, I need to explain...One there is a 2,500 mile difference in our locations AND communication IS a two way street! I take my share of the blame for lack of relationship, this I know and this I ask for forgiveness on.
However, this has been going on since I was a child, but only as an adult have I seen the impact of it on me and the relationships I have around me. One thought that I have thought, or should I say an attitude I've had is "I know your going to leave me, so I'll sabotage this relationship before you have a chance to choose to leave me...because in the end, everyone leaves" I have even had this attitude with Christ....Let's see if YOU are going to stick around too. It's also a reason I'm so fiercely protective of my daughters relationships with their fathers. I never want them to feel like they have been abandoned in ANY way! It's why I for so long have fought completely letting go and letting my self love and be loved, not just by people, but by the Lord.
So, now, with this simple sentence, I can let myself go and know with all of my heart and all of my soul, that my Lord will never leave nor forsake me. I KNOW I can TRUST HIM to always be there, I may not always feel His presence, but I know I will never be abandoned again. I also know that when those feelings of abandonment start creeping in, all I have to do is turn to the Lord in pray and know He knows EXACTLY how I'm feeling!! I know I'll never be alone again.
Today is the marking of Jesus going into Jerusalem, celebrated.
Today marks the ending of His life, the beginning of MY eternal life!
How quickly one week can make a difference. One day He is being celebrated, and four short days He is being crucified.
I know in my life, one week can make a difference too. A week can sometimes be a lifetime, a week sometimes can be over in a blink of an eye. I find myself wondering what kind of week this was for Jesus.
We know that it is said in the bible that Jesus began to be distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" Mark 14:34
How often do we feel overwhelmed with sorrow, how quickly we can go in one week from sorrow, to feeling refreshed. Thank you God for your love. It's as simple as that, God's love, sharing his yoke and not our own, it's such a feeling of refreshment.
Today at Church we heard about the human part of Jesus. In Mark 15:34 "And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice 'Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?'-which means 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' " it furthers goes on to say in Mark 15:37 'With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last breath.'
He CRIED OUT! He felt FORSAKEN by God, even Jesus felt abandoned! You have no idea how much closer I felt to the Lord today, knowing this. I've read that passage before, but never put into personal context.
Why does Jesus feeling abandoned at one point have such an impact on me? Well because I now know that He knows what is hidden deep in my heart personally. I know that He has experienced it as well, and with that simple sentence years of doubt, years of questions have melted away.
One of the questions, or not so much a question, but a block if you will, is deep in my heart, I've had the thought of "it's only a matter of time before I screw up so bad, that You'll leave me too"
I have a deep battle of abandonment. No I wasn't left on the streets, no I wasn't what most of us think in a traditional sense of abandonment left at the alter type of thing. My abandonment issue was "if my family can forget about me so easily, if they can turn away from me and only remember me from time to time, what makes me think YOU will stick around?"
Now before I go any further, I need to explain...One there is a 2,500 mile difference in our locations AND communication IS a two way street! I take my share of the blame for lack of relationship, this I know and this I ask for forgiveness on.
However, this has been going on since I was a child, but only as an adult have I seen the impact of it on me and the relationships I have around me. One thought that I have thought, or should I say an attitude I've had is "I know your going to leave me, so I'll sabotage this relationship before you have a chance to choose to leave me...because in the end, everyone leaves" I have even had this attitude with Christ....Let's see if YOU are going to stick around too. It's also a reason I'm so fiercely protective of my daughters relationships with their fathers. I never want them to feel like they have been abandoned in ANY way! It's why I for so long have fought completely letting go and letting my self love and be loved, not just by people, but by the Lord.
So, now, with this simple sentence, I can let myself go and know with all of my heart and all of my soul, that my Lord will never leave nor forsake me. I KNOW I can TRUST HIM to always be there, I may not always feel His presence, but I know I will never be abandoned again. I also know that when those feelings of abandonment start creeping in, all I have to do is turn to the Lord in pray and know He knows EXACTLY how I'm feeling!! I know I'll never be alone again.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Hell is disguised as a three year olds room!!
I officially have discovered hell today...it's disguised as my three year olds room!
I honestly felt the heat and heard something growl at me in it!!!!!! The horrors that I've seen. The things I have smelled. The little pieces of toys that consumed this nightmare...I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight!!!!
It started off simple enough....her room looked like a bomb went off in it...I mean a BIG bomb! The more I avoided it the worst it got...the toys were multiplying by the day, I think!
So with a strong resolution and LOTS of coffee in my system...I braved it. I entered the domain of a three year old, the land that no man enters, the land of plastic food, the land of baby dolls, the land of Tinkerbell cards, the land of....well you get where I'm going with this...haha!
Now Mikayla is a "helper"...with her kind of help, trust me, you don't need any hindrances. She is also a nagger...something she DID NOT get from me! I usually get to avoid the nagging...she saves it for Patrick...poor guy. (insert evil laugh) HOWEVER today...she turned her attention to ME! And I'm also asking myself...if she could do what she is telling me to do....her room would be freakin SPOTLESS!!!
So here is some of the conversations that I had to endure, yes endure, as I'm suffering in her room.
"Mommy what you doin? Cleaning your room sweetie. Why? Cause it's a mess. Oh I messy. Yes you are. You need to clean up my room more. No, you need to pick your stuff up, and put it away when your done. No, I don't. Excuse me? I like to watch you clean. Go PLAY MIKAYLA!!!!!!! Okay mommy!"
Ten minutes later and about 10 piles of CRAP later...she returns....I'll help you mommy. No that's okay sweetie, I've got it. PWEEEESSSSEEEEEEEEE!!! Okay, go get your block container and lets put your blocks in it. (leaves the room for 30 seconds) I CAAAAANNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!(yes it was that drawn out) It's too big for me to carry. You carry it all over the house you can do it now. No I don't want to, you need to go get it. (this child may not see the age of four!) What about my babies? I want my babies. Wait Mikayla we need to find the clothes for them. But but I wanna pway with my babies. Mikayla GO PLAY!!!!!!!!!
So I continue organizing....cause if I'm going to do this it's getting organized too!!! We have plies everywhere....piles of baby stuff, piles of art stuff, piles of kitchen stuff....let's start with the kitchen....I have a sneaking suspicion that "play food" isn't the ONLY food that has been in the play kitchen, cause as I get closer to the kitchen....I sense an "odor", but I continue on...eyeballing the kitchen and avoiding it like the plague...like I said...I'm discovering hell right now...I get the plastic food and all of the supplies in the appropriate containers...go get a wet rag (why do I have to clean my kitchen AND my daughters???) wipe down the out side, definitely smelling something now...open up the "cabinets" start putting stuff away...dejavue is consuming me...but so far so good. Get the dishes put away...seriously WHY?..go to the "refrigerator"...start taking stuff out...I SWEAR something growls at me!!!! The smell hits me like a ton of bricks....in the back of her refrigerator is not only a BLOCK OF CHEESE, but also a cup of milk and a gogurt!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!! I'M GOING TO BEAT THIS CHILD!!!!(as soon as I throw up that is)
So I take a deep breath........MIKAYLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hear this pitter patter of little feet running down the hall....yeah mommy? WHAT IS THIS???? Oh I sowwy mommy. WHY do you have this stuff in here? cause I needed it. You can't put real food in your kitchen. But but I need it. Why do you need it (I know my daughter, this IS going to be good) She actually is thinking carefully about her answer (oh wow she's heard me when I've told the older two to think before you speak) Yeah right!
I need the cheese for the monster under the house. WHAT???? It makes the monster happy. What monster? See (she's pointing to her vent...Oh Dear Lord help me!) Something smells awful mommy. Yeah it does, but what monster...and on cue..the sump pump goes off. That monster! If I put the cheese in there the monster can eat it. Why would you think cheese would make a monster happy? Daddy. Daddy? When Daddy's tummy is growling and he eats some cheese his tummy monster stops growling. (Oh it's so hard to keep a straight face right now!) Oh but honey daddy's tummy is not the same, his tummy growls cause he's hungry. I know mommy, I feed the monster to make him not hungry, he's happy when he eats...daddy would be happy to if you fed him more. (Seriously...I'm going to start drinking!!!!!!!!!)
Okay...so the gogurt? I don't know. You don't know how it got there? No. Sam put it in there. Sam didn't put the gogurt in your fridge. Okay mommy. Mikayla WHY is there a gogurt in your kitchen. (she's thinking again...this time I actually get the finger on the chin as she looks away and thinks....WHERE IS THE VODKA!!) I need it to fix a salad. You need it to fix a salad? Yeah. I stir it up with the salad stuff...see, and then trys to put the gogurt on a lettuce piece...STOP!!!! Mikayla you have to pretend to have stuff on your salad. It's yucky to put real food in your kitchen. Okay mommy. Mikyala. Yeah mommy. Why is there a cup of milk in there too? Cause I can find it when I'm thirsty. THAT she gives me a simple answer for???? Which thankfully it's a cup that I had given her this morning...so it wasn't bad...yet!
So let's move on to the art stuff!!! Not only do none of her Color Wonder markers have the caps on, but the makers of them are LIARS!!!!!!!!!! They may not leave color on the walls, but they do leave streaks on the walls!!!! Looks like it's time to paint!!! So as I'm picking up the TEN MILLION tiny pieces of paper off of the floor, I see that some of them are not coming up. What the heck! I investigate...these pieces of paper are actually STICKERS!!!!!! Stickers STUCK to my floors....not just regular floors, but REAL HARDWOOD floors!!!!!!!!
MIKAYLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Again the pitter patter of running feet....Yeah mommy. Did you put your stickers on the floors? Yep isn't it pretty? Yes Mikayla, they are pretty stickers, but you can't put stickers on the floor. Why mommy. Cause it they will stick to the floor. But mommy that's why they are called stickers!
Okay...I'm DONE!!!Time for a nap for you and I'm going to go hide in a corner and drink something!!!!
Well, I got the room cleaned, nice and organized. Mikayla did not get beaten, and I stayed sober, but I've decided that I'm going to go on strike this weekend....once you've been to hell and back, you deserve a break...don't ya think????
So now for the rest of the night, and maybe in to the weekend, you will be able to find me in a fetal position, rocking back and forth, trying to get the sights that I have seen, the horrors that I've faced, the hell that once was my daughters VERY unorganized room out of my head!!!!
Have a great weekend....send help!!! LOL!
I honestly felt the heat and heard something growl at me in it!!!!!! The horrors that I've seen. The things I have smelled. The little pieces of toys that consumed this nightmare...I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight!!!!
It started off simple enough....her room looked like a bomb went off in it...I mean a BIG bomb! The more I avoided it the worst it got...the toys were multiplying by the day, I think!
So with a strong resolution and LOTS of coffee in my system...I braved it. I entered the domain of a three year old, the land that no man enters, the land of plastic food, the land of baby dolls, the land of Tinkerbell cards, the land of....well you get where I'm going with this...haha!
Now Mikayla is a "helper"...with her kind of help, trust me, you don't need any hindrances. She is also a nagger...something she DID NOT get from me! I usually get to avoid the nagging...she saves it for Patrick...poor guy. (insert evil laugh) HOWEVER today...she turned her attention to ME! And I'm also asking myself...if she could do what she is telling me to do....her room would be freakin SPOTLESS!!!
So here is some of the conversations that I had to endure, yes endure, as I'm suffering in her room.
"Mommy what you doin? Cleaning your room sweetie. Why? Cause it's a mess. Oh I messy. Yes you are. You need to clean up my room more. No, you need to pick your stuff up, and put it away when your done. No, I don't. Excuse me? I like to watch you clean. Go PLAY MIKAYLA!!!!!!! Okay mommy!"
Ten minutes later and about 10 piles of CRAP later...she returns....I'll help you mommy. No that's okay sweetie, I've got it. PWEEEESSSSEEEEEEEEE!!! Okay, go get your block container and lets put your blocks in it. (leaves the room for 30 seconds) I CAAAAANNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!(yes it was that drawn out) It's too big for me to carry. You carry it all over the house you can do it now. No I don't want to, you need to go get it. (this child may not see the age of four!) What about my babies? I want my babies. Wait Mikayla we need to find the clothes for them. But but I wanna pway with my babies. Mikayla GO PLAY!!!!!!!!!
So I continue organizing....cause if I'm going to do this it's getting organized too!!! We have plies everywhere....piles of baby stuff, piles of art stuff, piles of kitchen stuff....let's start with the kitchen....I have a sneaking suspicion that "play food" isn't the ONLY food that has been in the play kitchen, cause as I get closer to the kitchen....I sense an "odor", but I continue on...eyeballing the kitchen and avoiding it like the plague...like I said...I'm discovering hell right now...I get the plastic food and all of the supplies in the appropriate containers...go get a wet rag (why do I have to clean my kitchen AND my daughters???) wipe down the out side, definitely smelling something now...open up the "cabinets" start putting stuff away...dejavue is consuming me...but so far so good. Get the dishes put away...seriously WHY?..go to the "refrigerator"...start taking stuff out...I SWEAR something growls at me!!!! The smell hits me like a ton of bricks....in the back of her refrigerator is not only a BLOCK OF CHEESE, but also a cup of milk and a gogurt!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!! I'M GOING TO BEAT THIS CHILD!!!!(as soon as I throw up that is)
So I take a deep breath........MIKAYLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hear this pitter patter of little feet running down the hall....yeah mommy? WHAT IS THIS???? Oh I sowwy mommy. WHY do you have this stuff in here? cause I needed it. You can't put real food in your kitchen. But but I need it. Why do you need it (I know my daughter, this IS going to be good) She actually is thinking carefully about her answer (oh wow she's heard me when I've told the older two to think before you speak) Yeah right!
I need the cheese for the monster under the house. WHAT???? It makes the monster happy. What monster? See (she's pointing to her vent...Oh Dear Lord help me!) Something smells awful mommy. Yeah it does, but what monster...and on cue..the sump pump goes off. That monster! If I put the cheese in there the monster can eat it. Why would you think cheese would make a monster happy? Daddy. Daddy? When Daddy's tummy is growling and he eats some cheese his tummy monster stops growling. (Oh it's so hard to keep a straight face right now!) Oh but honey daddy's tummy is not the same, his tummy growls cause he's hungry. I know mommy, I feed the monster to make him not hungry, he's happy when he eats...daddy would be happy to if you fed him more. (Seriously...I'm going to start drinking!!!!!!!!!)
Okay...so the gogurt? I don't know. You don't know how it got there? No. Sam put it in there. Sam didn't put the gogurt in your fridge. Okay mommy. Mikayla WHY is there a gogurt in your kitchen. (she's thinking again...this time I actually get the finger on the chin as she looks away and thinks....WHERE IS THE VODKA!!) I need it to fix a salad. You need it to fix a salad? Yeah. I stir it up with the salad stuff...see, and then trys to put the gogurt on a lettuce piece...STOP!!!! Mikayla you have to pretend to have stuff on your salad. It's yucky to put real food in your kitchen. Okay mommy. Mikyala. Yeah mommy. Why is there a cup of milk in there too? Cause I can find it when I'm thirsty. THAT she gives me a simple answer for???? Which thankfully it's a cup that I had given her this morning...so it wasn't bad...yet!
So let's move on to the art stuff!!! Not only do none of her Color Wonder markers have the caps on, but the makers of them are LIARS!!!!!!!!!! They may not leave color on the walls, but they do leave streaks on the walls!!!! Looks like it's time to paint!!! So as I'm picking up the TEN MILLION tiny pieces of paper off of the floor, I see that some of them are not coming up. What the heck! I investigate...these pieces of paper are actually STICKERS!!!!!! Stickers STUCK to my floors....not just regular floors, but REAL HARDWOOD floors!!!!!!!!
MIKAYLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Again the pitter patter of running feet....Yeah mommy. Did you put your stickers on the floors? Yep isn't it pretty? Yes Mikayla, they are pretty stickers, but you can't put stickers on the floor. Why mommy. Cause it they will stick to the floor. But mommy that's why they are called stickers!
Okay...I'm DONE!!!Time for a nap for you and I'm going to go hide in a corner and drink something!!!!
Well, I got the room cleaned, nice and organized. Mikayla did not get beaten, and I stayed sober, but I've decided that I'm going to go on strike this weekend....once you've been to hell and back, you deserve a break...don't ya think????
So now for the rest of the night, and maybe in to the weekend, you will be able to find me in a fetal position, rocking back and forth, trying to get the sights that I have seen, the horrors that I've faced, the hell that once was my daughters VERY unorganized room out of my head!!!!
Have a great weekend....send help!!! LOL!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Did you know?????
Did you know.......
That a peanut butter sandwich put in the microwave is flammable?
That a steak put in the same microwave will melt if you put in there for 10 minutes?
That Microwaves are not as expensive as they used to be?
Did you know....
That two year olds like to ride their bikes naked in the rain?
That satin paint on walls and 12 hour lipstick don't mix?
That cats don't like to be put in the freezer?
That cats also don't like to be painted green?
That my kids are going to cause me to start drinking some day???
Did you know....
That clumping cat litter WILL NOT flush??
That Roto Rooter charges by the hour to clean out the toilet?
That they will laugh and remember your house?
That after swallowing a penny and seeing it go down the drain, will fascinate a three year old?
That golf balls CAN go down the toilet?
Did you know.....
That Crisco is great for greasing up a two year old stuck in the toilet?
That butter makes great finger paint?
That no amount of scrubbing and primer will cover that type of finger paint?
That grape jelly makes a retched smell when covered on a light bulb?
That grape jelly will actually turn the light purple?
That furniture polish on a floor will resemble a skating rink?
Did you know.....
That fish will jump out of the tank when the heater is turned up to high...you know cause the water felt cold.
That dogs are great pillows?
That dogs look great when wearing a Tiara and a boa?
That they will stop you when you try to put lipstick on them?
Did you know....
That rice krispy treats will melt beyond recognition when hidden in the stove?
That you need to check your stove before turning it on to check for "surprises" put in the stove?
Did you know...
That taking a chatty toddler into a public bathroom is not advisable?
That after reading an email about a woman and her child in the bathroom and thinking this will never happen to me, guarantees it will happen to you?
That a toddler has a big mouth?
That a toddler will tell you how yucky you are in a public bathroom?
That in that same bathroom the child in question will let everyone know what you just did in the public bathroom?
That privacy is worth it's weight in gold?
Did you know....
That a couch pillow fort, a coffee table, and a jumping toddler will land you in the ER?
That the Dr.'s are not amused when you try to explain that they were trying to make a launching pad?
That explaining to a three year old that penny's are not good for her to swallow...will lead to her trying to get the penny's out of her piggy bank, cause she doesn't want it to get sick.
That this same piggy bank will be held over the toilet to get them out?
Did you know....
That these are not made up?
That these are just some of the things my kids have done?
That these are important lessons that I have learned over the years?
That birth control IS a wonderful thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That a peanut butter sandwich put in the microwave is flammable?
That a steak put in the same microwave will melt if you put in there for 10 minutes?
That Microwaves are not as expensive as they used to be?
Did you know....
That two year olds like to ride their bikes naked in the rain?
That satin paint on walls and 12 hour lipstick don't mix?
That cats don't like to be put in the freezer?
That cats also don't like to be painted green?
That my kids are going to cause me to start drinking some day???
Did you know....
That clumping cat litter WILL NOT flush??
That Roto Rooter charges by the hour to clean out the toilet?
That they will laugh and remember your house?
That after swallowing a penny and seeing it go down the drain, will fascinate a three year old?
That golf balls CAN go down the toilet?
Did you know.....
That Crisco is great for greasing up a two year old stuck in the toilet?
That butter makes great finger paint?
That no amount of scrubbing and primer will cover that type of finger paint?
That grape jelly makes a retched smell when covered on a light bulb?
That grape jelly will actually turn the light purple?
That furniture polish on a floor will resemble a skating rink?
Did you know.....
That fish will jump out of the tank when the heater is turned up to high...you know cause the water felt cold.
That dogs are great pillows?
That dogs look great when wearing a Tiara and a boa?
That they will stop you when you try to put lipstick on them?
Did you know....
That rice krispy treats will melt beyond recognition when hidden in the stove?
That you need to check your stove before turning it on to check for "surprises" put in the stove?
Did you know...
That taking a chatty toddler into a public bathroom is not advisable?
That after reading an email about a woman and her child in the bathroom and thinking this will never happen to me, guarantees it will happen to you?
That a toddler has a big mouth?
That a toddler will tell you how yucky you are in a public bathroom?
That in that same bathroom the child in question will let everyone know what you just did in the public bathroom?
That privacy is worth it's weight in gold?
Did you know....
That a couch pillow fort, a coffee table, and a jumping toddler will land you in the ER?
That the Dr.'s are not amused when you try to explain that they were trying to make a launching pad?
That explaining to a three year old that penny's are not good for her to swallow...will lead to her trying to get the penny's out of her piggy bank, cause she doesn't want it to get sick.
That this same piggy bank will be held over the toilet to get them out?
Did you know....
That these are not made up?
That these are just some of the things my kids have done?
That these are important lessons that I have learned over the years?
That birth control IS a wonderful thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
