Mikayla and the Scrubbing Bubble Monster

Today I am in a cleaning mood....shocking I know! Mikayla always being underfoot, is "helping" me. However, after this latest adventure with her, I'm likely to be found hiding in a corner somewhere!
We start with her room. She, being the bossy little munchkin she is, is once again telling me I need to do this, and do that. I learned my lesson the last time, I didn't avoid her room and let it grow monsters. That's not to say that we didn't have a monster issue this time!
I move into my room, which has over the last few days (weeks and months) turned into her play room (this also explains why her room was so tolerable). Pick up your blocks Mikayla. I can't. Pick up your letters Mikayla. I can't. Well then how are you going to help me if you don't pick stuff up. I will help you mommy. I tell you what to do. Your Mikayla and I'll be the mommy. (oh boy this aught to be interesting!) You pick up the toys and I will watch you. WHAT???? Is this what she thinks when I tell her to pick up her toys, that I'm not doing anything??? No sweetie, I don't think so, we will pick them up together. No mommy, you will pick them up and I will watch you. Mikayla. Yeah mommy. Go watch TV!!! Okay mommy.
I continue to pick up and organize toys, with her coming to "check on me" every now and then.
Two rooms down, four to go.
I take a little break, chat with a friend, then go to clean the bathrooms. The kids bathroom, the one we like to refer to as the "Turkish Dungeon" is first. Mikayla comes to the door. Mommy what are you doing in my bathroom? I'm cleaning it. Is it dirty. Yes, it's dirty. Okay mommy, you make it clean. Goes back to play. THAT was too easy!
Move on to my bathroom. This is when it gets interesting!
I have the TV on in my bedroom, I was listening to the news. Gotta have something to entertain me right? Mikayla comes in there. Can I watch TV in here mommy. Yes, but I'm not changing the channel. But I don't want to watch the news mommy. Then go watch cartoons on the big TV for a little bit longer, then we can play. I don't want to mommy, I want to watch you. (Ugh, again?) Okay, but you gotta stay back. Okay mommy.
I start with the toilet (and only 10 seconds of silence) Mommy? What Mikayla. Why is the toilet dirty? (EWWW!!! I really don't want to think about that, I just want to clean it and move on!) It's dirty cause we use it. Does it have Icky on it? Yes, it has icky on it. (I'm thinking now, so therefore I'm also gaging now) She starts laughing, and says, it's got yucky butt on it! Mikayla! That's not nice (gag) you don't need to talk like that. But but Mommy. No buts Mikayla. We can't put butts on the potty anymore? (oh Lord, why? Why did this get started!) Mikayla stop talking about butts! Okay Mommy.
Get the Clorox wipes out. She sits there and tells me all the things that they will clean (she's looking at the pictures on the container) Now she wants me to go clean the toaster!!! Gotta wait to do that later sweetie! BUT MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!! What Mikayla? You need to wipe everything. I will Mikayla, but I gotta clean the tub first.
Daytime TV has LOTS of cleaning product commercials on it. Some are basic and to the point. Some have animation and can be entertaining. My daughter likes commercials. Specially the ones where she sees something we have. However, I don't think she will ever like the Scrubbing Bubbles commercial ever again!!!
She comes into the bathroom as I'm spraying the tub with the Scrubbing Bubbles product. I get it wiped out, look over and Mikayla is at the door of the bathroom watching a scrubbing bubbles commercial and sees the giant talking bubble on the TV. I have the shower hose in my hand at this time, when I hear a blood curling scream! She comes running towards me and knocks the can off the tub, grabs the hose and SPRAYS WATER EVERYWHERE IN MY BATHROOM!!!!!!!!!!!! Yelling all the time about monster bubbles in the bathroom! WHAT??? Oh my gosh this kid has lost it!!
Everything seemed to be in slow motion at that point! I have water everywhere in my bathroom, a kid who is hysterical about a monster bubble in the tub, and me at a loss of what to do! I get the water turned off and drop a towel on the floor (yeah, like one towel is going to clean this mess up!) Take her into the bedroom and find out what's going on.
Mikayla, what is wrong? I scaed of the monster bubbles. There aren't any monster bubbles. Uh huh they are see! She points to the can on the floor. The monster bubble is in the tub. (she is shaking right now) Oh honey, that was just something on TV, they don't have monster bubbles come out of the can, you don't have to be scared. Mommy cleans the tub with that. I don't want them to get me in the tub. (She is looking over my shoulder into the bathroom, waiting I'm sure for a big bubble with a scrub brush on it's butt to come out of the tub.) Mommy rinsed them all out, come see. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! She wont even step foot into the bathroom! I'm trying to reason with her, that nothing is in there, when I remember my own bathroom fear from many, many (two or three) years ago!
I was terrified of the Tidy Bowl Man. There I said it!!! I was petrified with fear over him.
I remember the commercial like it was yesterday. There was, in the commercial a man in a row boat floating around in the toilet. I was so sure he was going to get me, reach up and grab my butt when I was on the potty! I remember making my dad flush the toilet before I would even go near it (Dad, do you remember that?) My parents tried to reason with me (I was like three or four at the time) that nothing was going to get me, but I was still petrified with fear of him! Nothing will instill fear in a child like the thought of some creepy man in a row boat in your toilet watching you go!
So now, with my daughter, she has her own Tidy Bowl man fear to last her a life time. I'm sure from this point on, I'm going to have to rinse the tub out before she gets in. Reassuring her that the Scrubbing Bubble Monster wont get her in the tub!!
In the mean time though, I will be writing the company and complaining. Not about the fact that my daughter is terrified of their product, but because of false advertisement! In all the years I've been using Scrubbing Bubbles, I have NEVER seen a giant bubble with a scrub brush on it's butt come clean my tub!
Now I have to go finish what I started, clean up the swimming pool that is my bathroom (well at least pick up the sopping wet towels that are in there) Oh and check my toilet for the Tidy Bowl man!!!! Some fears never leave! :)